Have You Had "The Talk"?

Nope, not the excruciating "birds and bees" talk that you had with your mom or dad when you were twelve, the even more embarrassing and stressful talk with your aging parent about his or her finances.

These troubled economic times mean that many elders' portfolios may have taken a beating.  Higher prices for food, gas and utilities may mean that your parents' budget is stretched to the limit.

For most families talking about money is challenging.  Our parents often guard this information closely. It can feel funny to you, as their adult child, to ask questions about finances.

Here are some suggestions for getting the ball rolling:

Use the current stories in the media or from your friends to start the conversation.  You can even share your own concerns about how your 401K or IRA has dropped recently.

Come primed with some facts about how much care for seniors costs.  Here's a link to the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services website where they talk about the cost of long term care. http://tinyurl.com/deptofhealth

Be prepared to go slow.  This is a tough topic and it may take a number of conversations to get all the facts on the table.

Have the conversation even if you are not able to offer financial help to your parent.  Times are tough for all of us and I know you may not be able to offer your parent extra cash.  You can use your time to help him find and quality for local, state and federal programs for low income seniors.

Avoid expressing any negative opinions about how your parent manages her money.  Be solution focused.

Encourage your parent to gather all their bills and their monthly income statements so you can help him make a budget.  Look for creative ways to cut costs.

Continue to check in with your parent on a regular basis to see how they are managing.